Bad Habbits are Hard to Break

I Googled what my personality should be according to my favorite color, and this is what I found. I would like to think is accurate... you tell me. Green is the color of healing. Green personalities want to help every one. They are natures mothers. These people are usually in the medical profession or some occupation which helps people. Preferring to watch rather than to become involved in others business, they usually keep their thoughts secret. Others see them as good listeners because of this quality. This characteristic makes them wonderful counselors. Others take for granted that the green personality can see more than one side to a situation without bias. Green personalities make others feel at home in their house by putting them at ease immediately. They try to take care of others with all the care their mothers gave them. Peacemaker is their sworn duty. They want harmony in every one's life. Green personalities may even stop an argument between others by starting one themselves. Others think that green personalities make the best of friends because they are jovial, caring and can keep a secret. In order for a green personality to feel good about themselves, they have to be helping someone or something. Nurturers by choice, they are the ones who take care of animals, humans and plants. Green personalities need to be careful not to make martyrs of themselves. This is something they easily can do. This next bit is going to be hard for me to share with you, but I have to do it. The other day I was thinking about my picking habit. People always tell me to stop doing it, but They Have No Idea How Hard It Is!!!!!!!! It is like a smoker trying to quit cigs! It is like a habit because I don't realize I'm doing it sometimes. It is like an addiction because when I am aware of it I don't want to stop... I like it. No... I love it. I pick my fingers, scabs, lips, pimples.... anything I can get my fingers on. I will even pick on Luke. Picking tape off anything, glue off a desk, a sticker, a label... anything you can think of, gives me a great satisfaction when I've picked it off. I've done it for as long as I can remember. I remember being in first of second grade and picking the skin off my fingers. For the longest time I didn't think anything of it. I have never met another person that does it. Ever. It wasn't until I was watching George Lopez this summer and a person he was interviewing said they did it. I was amazed! I couldn't believe there was another person out there that picked the heck out of their fingers. It wasn't until a few weeks ago that I saw a tv show all about picking. The people picked their bodies so badly that it was disgusting. It made me realize that I have a real problem. I was curious to see if there was such thing as rehab for this kind of addiction. I Googled it and found a forum all about picking. It was amazing. There were so many people on there all sharing their struggles and tips to quit. Some of the tips were things I've half heatedly tried before and didn't work, but I have found something I want to try. A 30 day challenge. I have to go 30 days without picking anywhere on my body. If I mess up I have to start over. I could be 29 days in and have to start over. The person on the forum said getting started was really hard, but she was on day 10 when she posted. I was really inspired. Luke is going to help me, and we decided on a reward for when I finish the 30 days. He is going to take me camping. I know this is going to be hard and I'll probably have to start over a lot, but I am determined this time. On that tv show, they said that most picking comes from OCD. I'm sure this is the root of mine... I put my clothes in my closet my color, I have to put on my right show before my left, and I have this crazy pattern thing I do with my hands that I can't even begin to explain to you. I could have the left shoe in my hand, but I can't put it on until I have torn the room apart looking for the right one. I have actually done better with that lately. If I happen to pick up the left first I force myself to put it on and then think, "See... that wasn't so bad." I know I sound crazy. I feel crazy. I stopped the hand pattern thing in middle school when one of my friends asked me about it. I'll only start it every once in a while now and make myself stop immediately. I'm slightly embarrassed to be sharing this with lots of people, but I have to do it to help keep me accountable. I want to do this. I want to quit. I don't know if that spiel makes sense, but I don't want to read it to see.